Thursday, March 11, 2010


I'll be honest. I really hate being pregnant. The morning sickness lasted 2 months and was debilitating (and it still rears it's ugly head with occasional nausea), but it was nothing compared to the fatigue. The morning sickness was expected. It had a relatively short duration. I knew when to anticipate it (at 6 weeks) and I knew when to expect its gradual exit (at 14 weeks). Yes, it's hard, but it's like being pinched for saying a bad word when you're younger. It stings, but that's part of being pregnant. If you don't want to be pinched or throw up for two months don't curse and don't get pregnant.

The fatigue on the other hand is like being in a bar fight with the invisible man. I didn't expect it. I underestimated it. And now it's breaking a chair over my head and kicking my ass. Then it's leaning down and whispering in my ear with a light Irish lilt, "Why don't you just lie down? Why don't you just forget about doing what you need to do and go to sleep?" It's maddening. When is it going to end? My doctor just shrugs and says, sometimes pregnant women are fatigued. Some are more fatigued than others. Deal with it.

The problem lies in "dealing with it". What would I do if I weren't pregnant? Why chug caffeine of course! I would press my black coffee powder into my stove top espresso maker and wait excitedly as the thick black liquid would bubble upward with small bursts of steam. Then I would slowly pour it into a small cup and it would swirl delicately with cream until it was a delicious golden brown concoction ready to provide me with soulful warmth and a burst of mental energy. Is that an option anymore? Of course not. Because all pregnant women must live in a dietary bubble to avoid the fearful LISTERIA or fatal caffeine overdoses or fetal alcohol syndrome. So you tell me that a cold cut and brie sandwich will KILL MY BABY if it's not cooked? Great. Oh, this hygienically prepared sushi might give my baby mercury poisoning? Wonderful. Don't even get me started about not being able to eat chocolate chip cookie dough. The perpetual reminders of what you can't eat, and what you should be eating and the horrifying potential side effects of violating these rules is wild. So I won't succumb to my cravings. I will take my naps and drink my water and go on my walks in the mornings. Decaf? No, my tongue can taste the's like listening to a joke and not being able to hear the punchline.

Damn you, Starbucks. You really ARE everywhere. A perpetual temptation to stray to the dark side. The dark rich delicious caffeinated side....

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